She Wants That Old Thing Back

Let’s be clear I don’t want the title of this post to cause confusion for any of you reading this. I personally do not want any “old things” gully creeping back into my life.  Having made that clear there are a couple of things I would like to discuss when it comes to the topic of reuniting with an old flame.

  

So let’s rewind to a couple of weeks ago when a phone conversation with one of my friends took me by surprise, the exchange went something like this:

Friend: I think I still I have feelings for… “Mr 2010” (That’s what I’m going to refer to her ex as because quite frankly that’s where he belongs)

Me: Ummm are you ok? What do you mean?

Friend: Well to be honest things never really ended on bad terms and when I saw him at that party all these feelings started coming back…

Now after she had slipped in that she was thinking of rekindling things with her ex, my first reaction was to laugh. Not because I necessarily found it funny but because I was confused. In my mind all I kept thinking was “why would you want to get back with someone you used to see almost 3 years ago?” After speaking to her more I realised that when ending a relationship there’s normally two ways in which it could end.

1. “Point of no return”: This is when the relationship ends on bad terms making it very difficult to reunite or even be friends.

2. “Limbo”: This is when things didn’t end on such a bad note allowing you to still being  able to communicate with an ex.

When things end on somewhat OK terms with an ex this makes it very easy to slip back into that mind frame of “I want that old thing back”. Having taken these factors into consideration I understood where my friend's feelings where coming from although I was still a little confused. Now let’s fast forward to a couple of days ago when my friend calls me after going on a date with her ex. After explaining how awkward the date was she reveals that she has come to the realisation that she was deluded to think things could ever work out between them two. This prompted bursts of laughter between the two of us.

Here’s my thing it’s easy to say, “I miss my ex”, “We could make things work this time around” but do you really want to be in a RELATIONSHIP with them again? There are a few things you may want to consider before jumping in the name of “love”.

1. People change. The same person you were so deeply in love with 1 or 2 years ago may not be the same person now. That “thing” you may be lusting for may not even exist anymore.

2. Some people don’t change. Just because so much time has passed it doesn’t mean your ex has matured or progressed in their life. Some people are STILL doing the same nonsense they were doing 2010.

  3.  Love from a distance. Sometimes it’s best to love certain people from a distance. Having love for your ex doesn’t always mean you need to be in a relationship with them.

The next time you’re thinking about rekindling things with an ex remind yourself of all these factors and your reasons for leaving them before you start saying “I want that old thing back”.

AK
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