Growing Together or Growing Apart?

                                                       

I’ve more or less had the same group of friends since I started secondary school. I was never that person who was part of a new clique every other week, not to say there is anything wrong with that, but its never been me. I’ve always stuck to what I know and who I know. Looking back I share over 10 years of friendship with my friends, in saying “10 years of friendship” that may have you reading this thinking “wow she must have one tight knit circle,”. This isn't necessarily the case as a lot can happen within a span of 10 years.

The other day whilst I was speaking to my mum she randomly asked me about one of my friends...

Mum: How’s that girl, your friend ********?

Me: Ummmm I don’t know...

Mum: What do you mean you don’t know, isn’t that your friend?

This question caught me totally off guard because I genuinely didn’t know the answer. There was no issue I just hadn’t spoken to this specific person in so long. Over the past couple of years the dynamics between me and my friends has changed quite significantly, which has taught me a lot. During my time at university I have not only drifted apart from some people but I have become even closer to others. There are some people I hardly ever used to speak to that I now speak to everyday and  others who I used to spend so much time with, that I now only see at birthday celebrations of mutual friends.

There was a point in time that If I started to notice a distance growing between me and a specific friend it would make me feel somewhat upset.  This would result in me trying TOO hard with that person. If any of you reading this are also guilty of doing this, please stop! No matter how much you cherish that person or want to save the relationship,you really can’t force these things. I’ve learned that this is a part of life. I’m not the same person I was when I first started secondary school, college or even university and neither are any of my friends.  Life is transitional and in saying that, we all need to accept that when it comes to our relationships and friendships with people, you either grow together or grow apart.

During our individual journeys we are all going to meet various different people. I’m a firm believer that people are put in our lives at specific times for a specific reason.  This “reason” may not always be clear but don’t look at growing apart from a friend as a negative. Growing apart from old friends is sometimes needed as our paths start to go in different directions. There is no point of holding on to a friend that’s going in a totally different direction than you are, just so you can brag “we’ve been girls since primary school” or “my circles so tight”.  Having a lifelong friend is a blessing but the reality is you may not be friends with the same people in 60 years or even 5 years from now.

Don’t be so quick to scream “No New Friends” like I once did. There’s nothing wrong with meeting new people or making new friends. This helps us to grow as people and allows new experiences to be created within our lives. Who wants to be the same person they were in 2002 in 2013? I for sure don’t.

I've added pictures of me and some of my friends taken over the years

Enjoy

AK

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2008

2008

 

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2013

2013

2013